Monday, 17 August 2009

Fuck my Life

This is a good site that will keep you amused for ages, It's filled with tons of disastrous, cringe worthy stories. I have been reading it for the past hour or so but I'm ill so I'm allowed to be doing pointless stuff haha. Anyway here is the link. Below is some of the best ones I found and a picture of candy land to make you happy...


Today, while teaching swim lessons, a boy was holding a noodle and claimed it was his fishing rod. Trying to be fun, I grabbed on and told him to "reel" me in. He then yells out 'YAY, I caught a whale!'. FML

Today, at the breakfast table my mum asked me what I thought about the plumber who came to our place a couple of weeks ago. I told her that I thought he was really cute and how hard I tried to flirt with him, she nodded and told me that he is her new boyfriend and might move in with us soon. FML

Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML

Today, I spent hours trying to get a piece of food out of my two front teeth. I didn't have anything I could use, until I went out to dinner and got a toothpick. I finally got the food out of teeth. The toothpick broke. Now the tip of the toothpick is stuck in my teeth. FML

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend humping my stuffed rabbit. I thought he was trying to be funny until I saw that he had an erection. FML

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

Today, I was helping my brother clean his room. While putting clothes away, I found a box of thongs. They were mine. FML

Today, I went to the school I work at, to set up my new classroom. I'm 5'1" and I was carrying a backpack full of fun educational posters. I also have a new boss. When we met for the first time he was yelling at me because "there were no students allowed in here yet." FML

Today, I was volunteering at the library. A kid came up and asked me to help him peel the back off his sticker. It took me so long the kid left. Determined, I still tried to peel it off. Fifteen minutes later, the librarian came over, looked once at it, and told me it wasn't a sticker. FML

2 comments:

  1. omg! lol these are awful/funny/sad/hilarious all wrapped into one! thanks for the giggle!

    ReplyDelete
  2. HAHA I know some are so terrible you can't help laugh anyway. glad you enjoyed them :D

    ReplyDelete

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